


sermons

by curtailed



Series: Ancestral Awakenings [2]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-07
Updated: 2019-09-07
Packaged: 2020-10-10 19:08:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 732
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20533091
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/curtailed/pseuds/curtailed
Summary: the psiioniic pranks the signlessrated T for language





	sermons

**Author's Note:**

> something quick n dirty as i continue on my longpiece

cholericGratitude [CG] began trolling technicalApiary [TA]

CG: Since y9ur first questi9n will inevita6ly 6e, "what'5 wr0ng" in y9ur nasally o6n9xi9us t9ne, I'm g9ing t9 tell y9u what the fuck I'm l99king at.

CG: Mituna, why is there a g9ddamn 6ucket printed in flaming, ne9n ink 9n the screen?

CG: I think even the mid6l99ds are laughing in the cr9wd.

CG: D9 y9u kn9w h9w hard it is to run a serm9n when the maj9rity 9f the attendees are una6le to reel in their penchant f9r wiggler j9kes?

TA: wIIggler.

CG: 9h my g9g.

CG: I swear, if y9u d9n't delete the fucking thing in ten sec9nds I will sh99shpap y9ur 6ees until their l9yalty is diverted t9 a m9re pacifa6le g9al.

CG: I will gently 6end d9wn, whisper t9 them 9f a w9rld that appreciates them f9r their eff9rts and n9t their size, and then I will try t9 make them sting y9u.

CG: Even th9ugh y9u're immune t9 6ee stings.

CG: ...

CG: I'm n9t sure where I was heading with that anal9gy.

TA: y0u w0uldn't dare.

CG: Try me.

TA: a5 II reIIterate, y0u w0uldn't dare.

TA: el5e II'll tell P0rrIIm wh0 really 5pIIlled theIIr drIInk 0n her g0wn a few week5 ag0.

TA: hIInt hIInt: y0u're up f0r the tIIme-0ut c0rner agaIIn.

CG: 9h my g9g shut the fuck up can y9u just rem9ve this massive editi9n 9f p9rn9graphy fr9m my g9gdamn speech?

CG: Als9 it's s9mewhat c9ntrary to 9ur 9riginal g9al here: we adv9cate the 6anning of 6uckets s9 that c9ncupiscent activities can be carried a69ut in relative enj9yment 9f a natural, if mildly distateful, activity. N9 tr9ll sh9uld 6e c9mpelled 6y the urge t9 categ9rize an9ther reminder 9f the antediluvian hem9caste that has perverted 9ur s9ciety f9r millienia, especially n9t in an event str9ngly emphasized by intense em9tional weight and intimacy. There is a6s9lutely n9 requirement that states that we sh9uld be classifying 9ur em9tions int9 s9mething that is to 6e enr9lled in the imperial data6ases and marked d9wn as a sign 9f survival 6ey9nd culling, n9t simply a recreational activity. Several dissidents, naturally, p9int 9ut that 9ur incest9us slurry is vital t9 the future pr9pagation 9f 9ur species, 6ut here I must lay 9ut my 9wn c9ncise the9ries 9n why repr9duction pails are n9t a neccessity: these tr9lls underestimate 9ur c9mpassi9n t9ward 9thers. In fact, if we sh9uld 6e free t9 deliver 9ur 9wn pails 9f 9ur 9wn time and ch99sing, during peaks 9f flushed 9r pitch fervor, the 9verall c9ntribution t9 the m9ther grub's genetic distri6uti9n is argu6aly m9re impactful. 6y receiving authentic 6ucketfuls 9f slurry fr9m the ripest ch99sings, it alleviates 69th the c9ncern 9f having su6par slurry and all9ws tr9lls to f9ster genuine relati9nships with 9thers fr9m a desire 9f c9mpani9nship, n9t 9ne 9f survival. It truly reminds me 9f a cinematic masterpiece that I must rec9mmend t9 any 9f my spectat9rs: I have l9ng f9rg9tten the title, 6ut the pl9t pertains t9 vari9us jadebl99ds having an emp9wered de6ate 9ver the practicality 9f their duties regarding the m9ther grub. Despite requiring the attention and care jade6l99ds 6est9w 9n them -- n9, n9t jadebl99ds. Such an 9utdated term. I did n9t mean to use that appellati9n and I truly did n9t mean t9 reference the hem9spectrum as a f9cal p9int in my discussi9n.

TA: can II get a T-5hIIrt that 5ay5 "fuck y0u Vanta5 f0r pa55IIvely-agre55IIvely baIItIIng me IInt0 readIIng whatever the fuck v0mIIt that ju5t 5pewed 0ut 0f y0ur gapIIng crackh0le?" 0r II5 that qu0te n0t pretentII0u5 en0ugh t0 fIIT?

CG: I'll inadverdently perf9rm a magic trick 9n my watchers.

CG: I will cl9se my eyes and c9unt f9r an arbitrary am9unt 9f sec9nds.

CG: And when I 9pen them:

CG: V9ila! N9 c9ncupiscent material ad9rning the screen. The sight will 6e clean en9ugh that P9rrim can sew an9ther dress in the r99m.

TA: II ju5t reread y0ur 5peech agaIIn, h0ly 5hIIt.

TA: waIIt, were y0u ju5t 5tandIIng there the wh0le tIIme typIIng away in y0ur palmhu5k IIn5tead 0f 

TA: y0u kn0w

TA: d0IIng y0ur 5erm0n?

CG: The serm9n w9n't m9ve 9n until the 6ucket d9es.

TA: h0w many tr0ll5 are a5leep in y0ur audIIence rIIght n0w?

CG: Just get rid 9f the 6ucket and I'll make it up t9 y9u later, capiche?

TA: 0h.

TA: 0hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

TA: 5end 0ne 0ver, KK.

CG: "5end" what?

CG: 9h, right.

CG: Ugh.

CG: <3

TA: <3 <3

**Author's Note:**

> think of signless as having a powerpoint slide presentation for his followers


End file.
